I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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