naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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