let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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