Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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