We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
