i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
