you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
