She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
