I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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