Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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