it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How's work?
Spinning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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