You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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