Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
