So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
