omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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