Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
