We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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