I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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