I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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