We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We left an ass print on the piano.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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