If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
