Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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