I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My first STD was from a foam party
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
