PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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