she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
