either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
