i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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