one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize