I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
