DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
