So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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