She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
