plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
