If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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