You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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