took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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