when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We had to coat check the pizza.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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