I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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