so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We got so high we made milksteak
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize