i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
