am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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