good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
