Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
