This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
