Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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