I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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