used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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