we have officially lost it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
