just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
