Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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