yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
