is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize