She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
