No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
