Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
