Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
