i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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