cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Im part way to drunk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
