I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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