Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
