I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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