Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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