and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
