the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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