He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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