I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
