I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
