But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
