sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
