What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
