i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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