Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
