i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
