you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
