Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
