I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
