lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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