Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
